When I pass the exams, we will be together. If I pass. WHEN I pass. I will pass. I have to pass. Why not? I was studying the whole year and didn’t do anything else. Just school, home for studying, work, home for studying and so on. And such a lack of sleep. Such a lack of sleep… I just want to pass the exams and be together. Just to sleep with him. What about the job? Big deal… They will be fine without me. I will be fine without them.
Category Archives: short story
I still walk on these streets alone. Sometimes I stop for a moment, to think, to listen for the whisper of the wind in the silence that surrounds me. I turn over my shoulder, hoping that I would see you.
I do not know who you are, but I feel you’re near. I breathe your breaths, I absorb your vibrations. I expect to see you and to recognize your eyes, to drown myself in the mirror of your soul.
I don’t give up. I still believe. I still can love.
I keep that love for you. You – my hope, my dream, my illusion.
I’ll wait for you forever. I will wander these streets until you come. Because I feel you my whole life and I live because I feel you.
Far to the west, in direction of the Blessed Isles, stands an ancient, cylindrical tower. It is rumored the tower has stood for hundreds of years, perhaps an entire millennium, or even more. At base of the tower protrudes the roots of a massive oak.
Coiled around the tower is a huge, formidable yet beautiful dragon with scales of emerald and gold. In the night, the dragon’s eyes are as red as blazing fires, beaconing out over land and sea. In the day, the eyes are the blue of a tranquil, cloudless sky.
It is rumored that the master of the tower and the dragon of green and gold are one and the same. Passers-by have reported overhearing the two—master and dragon—in lively discourse and heated debate. Whispers sound thereabout as winds push past thick walls into narrow window-slots; in tempests thunders roar.
How it is possible for a single identity to occupy two separate bodies is a riddle seldom pondered, never resolved.
As strange as the mystery of dragon and tower, with rooted feet of oak, more mysterious still is the solitary rose that thrives through the years between tower stones, high up on the tower’s curving wall. At center of this miraculous rose appears to be a living heart. Mesmerizing is the heart-light, as soft as delicate mist, that pulsates rhythmically with the mystic flower’s heartbeat.
Even more mysterious than rose and rose light is the silver throated nightingale that comes at each twilight onset of declining sun, circling the rose-perch wall and singing melodiously to the solitary flower. It is rumored that the rose responds to the nightingale’s love serenade with sighs of perfume. Sweet fragrance, alluring to the nostrils and delicious on the lips, ripples enchantment out across the land. Month by month presents its intricacies and life in waves and quiet languages shows everywhere.
Far from the tower grows a wide branched willow that weeps in its seasons (the Mater Delarosa of willows), begging ever with sappy tears for forgiveness. Although it remains unknown what the willow begs forgiveness for.
Far from this monument of sorrow is an aspen of immense stature. The aspen trembles in the breath of every fluttering breeze. Tree shivers as if from chill and fever and yet dances with a mantic joy as if a dancing marionette dangled in self-abandonment on a silken spider’s thread. In the tumbling circus of autumn recently abandoned spider webs mingle magically in mountain air with acrobatic, costumed and parachuting leaves.
To these three quarters—dragon-tower, willow and aspen trees—is added a fourth, far vaster than the other destinations combined. Yet the fourth quadrant is invisible and has been invisible since the beginning of time.
Tower dragon may possess details of this geography and its elusive inhabitants, being itself a creature of inter-dimensions and mythic memory? Tower master may have arcana intimations, gleaned from dreams of transformations and distilled from alembic vapors?
However, the dragon; as with all dragons; is forbidden from sharing its secret lore with strangers. Along with noble courage, patience is demanded to win a dragon’s trust. For his part, the master of the circle tower never converses with anyone who does not have imprinted in their soul (along with untranslated libraries and artifacts) an analog of the cosmos.
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THE GREEN TROUBADOUR A Source Book of Performance Ecosophy
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What are you thinking, you nameless stranger, when you sit alone, without words, in front masses of people who are running around without stopping? No one sees you. No one stops. No one speaks. And you are just sitting there, looking at the well-known streets after such a long time; and you see – nothing. Your eyes are staring into the distance. Your body is here, but your thoughts are trapped forever in some other place; in some other time.
For how long haven’t you been here? Do you remember the time “before”? The time, before you started counting dead…
You knew, you had to be there. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, but… no one said to you that hell has so many circles…
How many lifeless bodies have you pulled out? How many children’s eyes have you shut forever? How many screams in the night have you counted? How much grief, pain and suffering a human can bear, soaking like a sponge, until the last cell in the body burst… until he has to run away. To save himself… or in the end he won’t save anyone else …anymore.
Now you are sitting here, far from hell, trying to heal your own wounds, alone and forgotten. You’re trying to soak the warmth of the sun but your feet are still wet and cold of the deadly waves of the Aegean Sea. Your bones are frozen from the snows of the Balkans, your skin is covered with mud of the shores of Calais.
The sun died. You don’t feel it anymore. All you have is this deep darkness and this invisible and indelible wounds in your soul. You sacrificed yourself without asking for anything in return.
You knew you had to be there… And you will be there again, among hundreds of those who feel the same like you, to fight the waves, winter and mud, in the battle for humanity.
Without asking – who is going to save you…
“Hello sir, we are from the TV show…”
“TV show? What TV show? Real TV show?”
“Yes, the TV show “Today w…”
“Am I on the TV?”
“Now? Is it a live show?”
“Do I look fat? They say TV makes you look fat, how do I look? Where should I look at?”
“Sir, maybe you…”
“Oh yeah! Now I can see me! Right there, just right there, I can see me! WOW!”
“Yeah, yeah, what do you want me to say? I will tell you everything, can Mary see me? Do you see me Mary? I’m on the TV and they want me to talk to them! Yeah, tell me, just ask me what you need to know, ask me!”