Anybody out there, Brexiteers? by Thanos Kalamidas

You think, no big thing; things might change a bit for the exporting companies and some goods in the supermarkets might be a bit more expensive but most of the people don’t live on champagne and roquefort cheese. After all UK is the ninth largest economy in the world; everybody is going to be fine!

And then you get your bank statement posted from Germany, from your bank’s “European head office” in Berlin and you think …wow! Brexit is here, my bank knows it and I have no idea what’s really going on and how much this is going to shape my life. Do I need visa and work permit now to live in my house with my family? Do I need …what do I need? Does anybody have any idea what do I need? Theresa? Boris? Anybody?

brex001_400Nobody. Literally nobody while nearly 2.5 million UK nationals living in EU realized day after day that their future is somewhere between: we are pawns in a game we don’t understand and Boris changes the rules in daily base and we are screwed suddenly becoming second category unwelcome immigrants. Just like the ones UK likes to avoid wants to kick out and used as escuse for the Brexit. The irony of contemporary life.

But hey, don’t worry; Trump wants talks for a ‘cutting edge’ free trade deal with the UK to start immediately after Brexit. That should make me feel better. NO! It does NOT. British people don’t want Trump’s modified potatoes and carrots or any other artificial food and drink. They don’t want to buy his guns, planes and missiles and definitely no more hotel and golf clubs from him.

Boris keeps saying how badly May is failing and how poor her Chequers proposal is but he is coming rather short to any kind of proposals himself. Two years since the beginning of the negotiations except saying how bad job Theresa is doing, Mr Johnson hasn’t offer a single suggestion on how she should act and what to say.

Did I mention Jacob Rees-Mogg? Sorry my mistake. The British Donald Trump with a little of Farage and Disney’s Goofy; in total: three catastrophes in one body. His public contribution to any conversation about Brexit is even smaller than Michael Gove’s or Joan Collins’, another glorious Brexiteer. At least her excuse is that she likes …Trump and Trump is against EU.

In the meantime I rechecked the bank’s statement. Head office. Germany. WOW! Imagine that. The ninth largest economy supporting the fourth largest economy, all for the glory of a Brexit.

But at least there will be open borders with the Irish republic. Because …because it is part of the empire and Queen Theresa wishes so. So, no worries, nobody is going to miss champagne and roquefort cheese, they will be coming from Dublin.Last minutes denial or we don’t know what the hell we are saying? And, what about the 2.5 million UK nationals living in EU? Well this is Juncker’s problem, you might say. He can make a law and help them if he wants or kick them out of EU which will make him the evil bastard he is.

What about the 2.7 million EU citizens living in UK? No worries there, no worries at all. UK legally will keep the British educated, well professional established, basicaly not east europeans, with good work experience, in needed positions with low salaries and the rest will become tourists or …illegal immigrants. UK is not going to be blackmailed for its 2.5 million UK nationals living in EU because it has 2.7 million EU citizens living in UK for hostages.

What did I say in the beginning? Either pawns in a game we don’t understand or Boris changes the rules in daily base or plainly screwed with the second case winning every single moment UK reaches a no deal Brexit.

No deal Brexit, this seems to be the only way and you know why? Because they have absolutely no idea what to do. Both sides. UK and EU. In UK things are a bit worst because even those who fought for Brexit didn’t believe that it would happen so there was no plan for the day after. And now we are in the day after after after with no plan and 2.5 million UK nationals living in EU while 2.7 million EU citizens living in UK. In total 5.2 million people live in limbo! A country the population size of Norway or Ireland.

But hey, no worries; the banks have created European head offices in Berlin! The ninth largest economy is moving to Berlin while Boris, Jacob and Theresa argue who’s the toughest!

And I’m really worrying!

Ovi magazine

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